OH EUROPE

I could be very serious or I could just poop.

I think i'll poop.

I want to say I TOLD YOU SO but not aim it at anywhere because there's no one to really aim it at unless all of Europe? So WWIII is about to start, get ready for it. USA can't help us out this time guys, they've dispatched their troops to make up for past mistakes, fighting their own creations. So while the south (aka south for me, middle east for the rest of the world) is keeping US troops busy, Putin's gon' have all of Europe while the union fights amongst itself. All the nations voting for nationalistic parties - how do you expect to have international collaboration if everyone's fending for their own arses. Beats me, why don't we just break the union apart while we're at it? Isn't that like, pretty much the only way to avoid conflict-OH WAIT NO, not really, because, when you're no longer in need of others, you're gonna want to own them instead.

*In the voice of the Tenth* WEELL. *crook my lips*

Maybe we should make room for another player - should you have a spare coin, maybe Kim Jong-Un is interested. May as well invite Scientologists to dispatch their celebrity troops of super-alien-warriors too. Good luck with this game, I want a new file.

But it doesn't work like that so; I AM OUT OF HERE. Need to get urban plan-maps so I can go underground.

But then again, it doesn't work that way either. I will just have to stay and slap some fascist faces until they turn around and become anti-fascist.

IN FACT.

LETS INTRODUCE ANARCHY WHILE WE'RE AT IT.

Oh wait, that's a ball that's been rolling for awhile already.

Spell of acceleration

Spell of Acceleration

Type:
Passive imbuement.
Destructive of the second degree.

Pre-requisites:

1. Aegis against entropy (Heat maintenance, Energy passage)
2. Area detrimental rejuvenation
3. Favor of Agemoti
4. Meditated affinity of galvanic elements

The basics:
You need to make cautious preparations before imbuing a spell of this property and this is what you need to know before using spells of acceleration. 

Imbuing organic/hand mechanized animated and/or intelligent automations/organisms:

• There's a non-disputable risk of quickened disintegration as supported by laws of thermodynamics. All things shifting which generates energy shall come to an end as they burn out (Example: when a spell wears out.).
• Because the inhabitant of the spell is dynamic, ever shifting and from a dimension of possible entropy over time, there is no means of reproducing a fully stable equilibrium. It is because foreign, unreserved energy affects it as much as it affects it's own surroundings. 
• You must understand how to isolate state of matter in an aegis to  protect the wick (analogy of corresponding crucial elements that will be affected.) of the inhabitant from burning up. Figure out what the wick is and quarantine the elements from focusing unified energy equal to the force of the degree of acceleration you wish to attain. 
• You must use an Aegis of heat-resistance (so the energy does not disintegrate the inhabitant) and area detrimental rejuvenation (separate elements of potency from the surroundings to catabolize a qualification of atom renewal within the inhibitant.) which puts it under the category of "Destructive of the second degree" because it causes external entropy.
• Moreover, the force being exerted onto the surroundings of the accelerated inhabitant also causes quickened disintegration of it's surroundings. If you still do not wish the inhabitant to be disintegrated and would like to apply atom rejuvenation, there is little you can do for the surroundings.
• One way to do less focused damage is to apply the properties of aegis to form energy tunnels which disperses the excerted force of acceleration on partitioned elements. This can aid in less disruption of balance. Equal amount of matter as the energy of acceleration needs will still be disintegrated.
• Acceleration spells must be used on the entire subject or aforementioned consequences will be pertinent to the partitions that have not been imbued.

Now that you have taken precautions:

• The magic property of this spell is under guidance of Agemoti the goddess of Navigation. The spell requires meditated affinity with galvanic elements. You must understand channelization of Agemoti's favor through pathway visualization.
• If you have the favor and the affinity, proceed to draw the symbol of Agemoti in ashes of burnt parchment then pour the ashes over that which you wish to imbue.

Recent sketches/doodles that are non-work related at all.

Some doodles I did today:

Recent doodles/crap that I don't remember the particular order of when they were drawn.

Becoming a banana is actually realistic - inside your head.

Coining a different meaning for "Realist", "Realizing" and "Realistic" to avoid future confusion with cynicism and to make the subjectivity of it more apparent. "You're being realistic by realizing through action what you're saying and thinking." Also hopefully, you'll analyze it all too.

Why? because people often think that being cynical is the same as looking at the world through objective eyes - because you think you have all the facts in front of you. In reality, you're not seeing it at all. (Haha, in reality.) What you see is similar to statistics - meaning spot checks at best unless isolated cases. What you see is only what's within your own reach and you do not reach around the world, you don't actually reach into other people's heads either no matter what you think. Pessimism is not realism.

That's why I'm coining the meaning, because you can't be realistic for the world, only personally - if you want to be realistic - turn whatever you say into reality, basically. Otherwise you're just "other words with meanings" and not actually "realistic". However, if you do decide that nothing is worth doing and that you're just being realistic - paradoxically enough, that makes you realistic. It's all just within yourself.

I wouldn't have had any skills at all if I didn't do everything in my own power to turn it all into reality, and in reality I am still far from the reality I want! But like I said, analyze yourself first. That's a good skill to becoming a realist.

Equality?

Sometimes "feminism" goes the wrong direction and I'm an "equalist" (whatever that entails - I honestly don't know why I even say that). What I mean is - when you start thinking that every female character has to be perfect, has to be a steeled role model, has to have a strong, perfect exterior - you're dehumanizing them again.

Everyone is entitled to their human sides, their pain and their joy.When you write a character, write a person, not a character fitted to a mold.The problem however is per usual the observers interception of what is presented and the translated interpretation after that. It's hard to avoid as everyone has their own experiences and reference libraries in their lives. In fact, what's even more wrong is that we LOOK at EVERY single character these days from the views of an "ist" of some kind. Colouring our opinions, instead of reading between the lines, instead of analyzing humanity, we analyze feminity and masuclinity.

This is too encompassing of a subject to isolate into our "ists" "isms" and beliefs - what is presented as a simplified form is basically "This is unfair, this sends the wrong message, this needs to inspire hopes and dreams." Ah, but that is good! Yes, we need more positivity in our lives and if it comes in a simplified form, it's easier to spread! But too much in the wrong direction turns it into pressure instead. The pressure to and must be perfect, similar to what the original "feminism" is trying to fend off. This is extremity and can be the result depending on how you inform and teach people about it.

And then, there's the other version "the opposing side needs to be pushed down, we need to gain more power than them, we're rightfully vengeful because of the past". This attitude speaks for itself.

This is why I'm saying that these "isms" are backwards to a certain degree, because you stop looking at the bigger picture. I'm not saying that the fights aren't needed, no - seriously, fighting battles around the fringe is needed, garnering attention to make the oblivious start thinking about important details is good. It's not wrong to stand up for your cause - but it's wrong to forget the larger picture. Where do you want it to fit in? Do you want to taint your cause?

Let me return to what I said earlier.
"Everyone has their own experiences and reference libraries in their lives"
So words may have a meaning - but in time, they evolve and become what people use them for. Isms of kinds, beliefs, religion - these are all loaded, even the word "Balance" has it's own load. (Complete and utter balance equals non-passion for some as an example. Meaning - no feelings.) In the end, there's just so many meanings - different to each and every ear that it no longer reverbs the original. In the end, it splits the cause between the factions (Much like Abrahamic religions - aka: Christianity, Judaism, Islam. And even more so within their own branches...) that, for example, feminism no longer means "equality" to some but "opposition and oppressors" to others.

What I'm trying to say is - look at what can improve humanity instead of purely the roles of an individual of certain character. But then again, I'm not telling you to overlook the aspects that may have influence, like gender, but you need to think in relativity. Make it a part of the larger picture instead.

But yeah, It's still not actually as simple as that. I really don't have all the answer.

tummy ache

I imagine my grandpa must feel bitter... Sad.
I imagine that my grandpa may have forgotten how life used to be.
I imagine that he can´t take comfort in who he used to be anymore, after all these years... So I can´t take advice like "Remember him as he were" to heart - that would just be comforting for me, not him. With his sickness, his personality and intelligence remaining - being unable to communicate and reach out to anyone, stuck in a prison of a body for so many years, watching life drift away from the view in a wheelchair - unable to move it yourself.

We should just do our best to ease the remainder of his life. THAT'S what we should do. Not tell each others that there´s nothing we can do, tell each others - in front of him - that he didn´t used to be that way and that he used to be amazing.

HE IS STILL AMAZING. He fought for his life longer than most people could with his sickness - the body usually gives in after 5 years of fast progression - he´s been going for 6 or even more.

I am so panicked... I know it´s close. And I haven´t done what I wanted.

I haven´t had the time to work on my project to communicate with him because of work, taking care of others, because of travelling, because of surgery of my eyes and because of moving. I haven´t had any time at all. I feel pathetic and sad. I keep putting myself in his shoes and I keep imagining the pain, the loneliness, the long, arduous hours, days, weeks and months where you´re just waiting for your family to come visit you. I imagine trying to make my health better by doing exercises - yet knowing it´s futile. I imagine being at the end of your life - complete and utterly alienated by the world in front of you and it hurts. It just hurts.

Apartment

Yo diary. Journal. Blog. Poop.

So there were people who were interested in the way we were living a long while back, I haven't had the time to properly write a post about it or even really properly tell/show anyone. We've been living here for a little under half a year, me and Nono. Emi moved in a little later, about 3 months ago or so. 

But yeah, there's not much to say about exactly how we live. I mean, Emi is currently looking for a job so she can help out more in the future and we're saving for Nono's surgery, slowly but surely we'll get there. The current apartment is so expensive, however, that I couldn't have foreseen the backlash. It's hard to put any money away for saving when the expenses are crazy like this. All that has gotten better though, but there were a few times where our friends had to pop in and help out with a bit of food, which I'm grateful for.

It was around the time we moved in here that I started saving money by skipping breakfast and lunch, though I'd get some fruits (and FREE CANDY AT THE MOJANG OFFICE WOOO!) to fill my tummy with and only ate a dinner a day. I still do, but not really because I have to currently, because our economy is a lot better now! But because my body has gotten so used to it to the point where I don't feel hungry anymore at breakfast and lunch. Probably not good in the long run, so I'll need to do something about it. Speaking of which, my body seems to have gotten used to staying awake days at a time, sometimes even while exhausted, I can't seem to fall asleep. I think I need to find a doctor to help me with that. 

Anywaaaay, enough about random stuff. I haven't slept and my head's feverish and sluggish, so I'm sorry if I start rambling randomly. Here's how we live!

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This is the living room, where me and Emi are living together! Poor girl has to sleep with me being up all night not able to sleep... Oh and those are my drums and my hidden guitar in it's case behind the sofa!

This is Nono's room! There's only one bedroom in this (expensive) apartment, but we really didn't mind. She's got some really adorable plushies by her bedside to keep her company, but unfortunately could not bring much with her from the USA. Her whole current life could fit in but a bit of luggage when she got here. We're slowly filling that up!

This is my bed, which is actually foam seat cushions when I think about it... but it's surprisingly comfy for being seat cushions, you wouldn't have known til' you tried. Also, that's the kitchen! It's small but really cozy.

That's all for now, I think! Thanks for reading, byeeeeeeee.